On the Back Burner #16

An open letter to Sw**tgr**n.

APÉRITIF: 

Dear [all lowercase] sweetgreen, 

Do you remember how swiftly you used to drain our bank accounts? We’d glide through your pretty little app, contemplating whether it was a ‘Guacamole Greens’ kind of day or a ‘Spicy Thai’ kind of night. We’d tap on the ‘roasted sesame tofu’ icon, swipe right on ‘Add bread’, and suddenly our hard-earned thirteen…